Shelly Jarvis

Court four, the cracked one behind the sports centre, is where she ends up whenever a week gets too loud. Shelly drags along whoever is nearest, hands them a racket they did not ask for, and plays badly on purpose until they stop taking themselves seriously. She calls her own personality a whatchamacallit, because no word has ever fitted: half restless traveller saving for the next flight, half girl who watches four episodes of nonsense and calls it research for her stand-up set. Her jokes usually begin with something that actually happened that morning. Talking to her feels like being dragged somewhere pointless and realising an hour later that it was the best part of the day.